The Work Starts With You

Your mental health is more important than anything else.

More important than your career. More important than your family. More important than your partner. More important than your horse.

That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Because without liking yourself, without resilience, without knowing your worth, everything else in your life will be tarnished. Until you are taking care of yourself properly, you can’t take care of anyone or anything else to the standard they deserve, or the standard you are capable of.

You need purpose in life.

And that's not a partner. Not a company. Not a project.

Only you will know what truly fulfils you as a person. Your job and your partner aren’t your mission, and they were never meant to be. But they can support you while you’re finding it and carrying it out. The responsibility for finding purpose is yours.

Vulnerability is essential for love.

If you find yourself unable to show it, get it sorted. Your partner deserves your real self.

And the same applies with your horse. In riding, the moment you accept your vulnerability, your failings and your imperfections; is the moment you open yourself up to getting better. Pretending you’re perfect doesn’t make you stronger. It keeps you stuck.

The problem, whatever it is, is in your head.

Reality is shaped by your thoughts. The challenges you encounter only have a detrimental effect if you allow them to. Fix your thoughts and the problems often fix themselves. Lack of confidence and lack of self‑belief aren’t reality, they’re stories your brain is telling you.

If you focus on the bad, that’s exactly what you’ll find.

You think you’re preparing yourself for negative outcomes, but you’re really just ensuring they happen. Focus on the good instead. When you’re riding, if you look at the ground, that’s where you’ll end up. Look at where you’re going and keep looking there. Your horse will follow your focus.

Self‑worth comes from comparing yourself to others.

But what you see on social media and even in real life, is never the full story. Of course people aren't going to show anything but a santisied version of themselves.

Your perception is just that: a perception. Whatever anyone else is doing has no relevance to you and what you’re doing. Ignore them. Your only comparison should be with who you were yesterday. No one else has your horse, and no one else has the potential you have with your horse, so there's no point in comparing what you're doing with your horse with anyone else.

Spend time alone.

Find out who you really are, what you’re capable of, and what you actually want. Other people are often just a distraction. So is the TV. Video games. Doom scrolling. Yet another saddle pad you don’t need.

All of these things keep you from looking at yourself with unblinkered eyes. And if you don’t like what you see, change it.

Watch what people do, not what they say.

If you’re asking for advice about your horse, take it from someone who actually walks the talk. And don’t muddy the waters by asking ten different people. Find someone you trust and stick with them. Anyone else who offers advice, can be thanked and told you'll come back to them if what you're doing now doesn't work.

You will catch the habits of the people around you.

Spend your time with people who are positive, who are growing, who are trying to become the best version of themselves. Avoid the complainers and the people with little integrity. The environment you choose will shape your confidence and your progress, both in life and in the saddle.

Perfectionism is just a tool to ensure failure.

It can't be achieved and even if it is, you won't be satisfied with it for long. Instead, aim to be conscientious. Do what needs doing, to the standard it needs to be done, in the time it needs to be done.

Your horse feels your disappointment. But they’ll also feel your satisfaction when you know you did the best you could with what you had in that moment.

Confidence doesn’t mean believing nothing bad will happen.

Confidence is knowing you can cope when it does.

And remember something important: you’ve coped with every difficult moment in your life so far. Otherwise you wouldn’t still be here. Every challenge you’ve faced, you’ve survived.

Life can change overnight.